As I am sitting here reading this post in a group I belong to online, I am wiping tears from my face and can’t contain myself in some of these observations. You KNOW that some of them are just too true! Get a fresh cuppa joe, read, and have a chuckle on me!

Writing The Blues – a Starter Kit!

Courtesy of John in Baton Rouge. Thanks John!

1. Most Blues begin, “Woke up this morning…”

2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, ‘less you stick something nasty in the next line like, “I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.”

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes…sort of: “Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound.”

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch – ain’t no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don’t travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an’ state-sponsored motor pools ain’t even in the runnin’. Walkin’ plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.

6. Teenagers can’t sing the Blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, “adulthood” means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City, but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don’t get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg ’cause a alligator be chompin’ on it is.

9. You can’t have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad places:
a. Dillard’s
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

11. No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, ‘less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you sleep in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. you older than dirt
b. you blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can’t be satisfied

No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

14. If you ask for water and your darlin’ give you gasoline, it’s the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. nasty black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast

15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can’t have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can’t sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, Jake leg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not “Kiwi.”)

20. I don’t care how tragic your life is: if you own a computer, you can not sing the blues.

Muray and Lanman Florida Water Cologne

This is an classic and traditional cologne used widely beginning around the time of the Civil War. It has been made by Murry and Lanman (Lanman & Kemp Co.) for over 190 years (it was introduced on February 14, 1808, a very auspicious day). This clean, refreshing and stimulating floral and citrus-cinammon scented cologne is created with essential oils of bergamot, neroli, lavender, clove, cinnamon, rose, and orange flower water. It became popular instantaneously when it was introduced and became a worldwide, well-known cologne, not only because of it’s delightful fragrance. More importantly, there are more than twenty uses attributed to it. Here is a list of some of their more popular uses for Murray and Lanman Florida Water Cologne.

Added to the Bath or wash-basin, Florida Water refreshes delightfully and leaves the skin with a soft, delicate fragrance.

After a Shower, Florida Water provides an exhilarating rubdown, giving a healthy glow to the skin, toning muscles and nerves.

When used an Astringent and Skin Lotion, Florida Water effectively contracts the pores and tones-up the skin; leaving it with a feeling of freshness and free a buildup of oils on the skin.

You can use Florida Water as a Personal Deodorant, as it is indispensable to the fastidious woman. Its delightful fragrance is faint and elusive, making it invaluable for this purpose.

In a room where someone is recuperating from an illness, a few drops sprinkled around the room perfumes the air and overcomes stale odors.

Many find that Florida Water is more beneficial for a rub down for the sick than alcohol as it has a more pleasant and less offensive odor-wise than an alcohol rub.

Before Shaving, Florida Water can soften even the most stubborn of beards and prepares the skin for a smooth, luxurious shave. After Shaving, it contracts the pores of the skin, as its mildly astringent action soothes skin abrasions caused by shaving.

For Headaches due to nervousness or over-stimulation, are relieved by simply applying the cooling and refreshing Florida Water to the temples and forehead or sprinkle a few drops on a clean, wet washcloth.

For Insect Bites, apply of Florida Water on the bite.

When the Weather is Hot, applying Florida Water to the forehead gives a feeling of cooling.

As a Perfume, there is no more delightful of a scent than Florida Water. A subtle reminder of a flower-garden, it can be used in an spray atomizer, a handkerchief, or as a body splash.

After Exercise, a rubdown with Florida Water produces a warm tingling glow – delightful and invigorating to the muscles and the nerves.

For Nervousness, produced by excitement or shock, Florida Water applied to the forehead and used as a rubdown, usually relieves nervous tension and relaxes the muscles.

As a Hair Tonic, a sprinkling of Florida Water gives an enchanting fragrance delightful for social engagements. It soothes a burning and itching scalp.

In the Bedroom or Dressing Room, a few drops sprinkled in your lingerie drawer and clothes closets is lovely and long-lasting.

To Freshen Rooms that need a lift or to freshen the air from smoking, cooking, or the smell of new paint, sweeten the air by wetting your fingertips and flicking the room with a sprinkling of Florida Water.

Head Colds will be less bothersome if a little Florida Water is sprinkled on a handkerchief and the aroma inhaled frequently.

For Tired, Achy Feet, add some Florida Water to a basin of warm water and soak those tired tootsies. The soothing, refreshing effect is relaxing and refreshing.

For Skin Care, it never fails to massage the skin with Florida Water after removing your make-up, especially before going to bed.

Some Uniquely Spiritual Use for Florida Water Cologne

There are also several “unofficial uses” for Florida Water Cologne. Florida Water is used in many of the religious practices from the Carribean-influenced Spitirualism and Spiritism belief systems.

It is often used for ritual offering to the departed and purification. It is a fragrance that is welcomed by the Spirits. It is used in spells to remove unwanted thought forms and heavy, negative vibrations, to encourage the display of emotions, to scalm those who talk too much, and to bring peace to places where an excess of energy is present. Many use it like Holy Water for cleansings, blessings, good luck and protection.

Some Handy Household tips:

Keep some in a spray bottle or atomizer in the fridge as a quick spritz will help to keep fresh and cool on hot summer days.

Add it to a spray bottle when you iron for fresh, wonderful smelling clothes with a sublte fragrance of a flower garden.

Spray your curtains to freshen up a room and give it that “just cleaned” feeling.

Claudia B. of Tennesee takes Florida Water and applies it to her just-showered, towel-dried body with a prayer or intention (“Bless me from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head” she says) that she is blessing herself asking that God, her guardian angel and all the other angels surround her. She begins with a little in her hand, first placing it on the bottom of her left foot, drawing up her legs and over her tummy and up towards the heavens. She repeats it with the right side of her body, starting from her sole of her right foot to the top of her head. Her last motion is a dab from her index finger she dabs a drop on the top of her skull. She then considers herself blessed in her intentions for the day.

Love Spell by Leslie

Draw and cut out a heart shape. Scribble with all of your feelings into the paper heart. While you color think about dissolving all the anger around you.

Also see yourself overcoming any personal obstacle in life. Imagine the problems you might be having in life dissolving and never again returning to you.

When you feel that there is not any more paper showing through on the paper heart, write your name and your desired outcome to be on the back of the heart.

Place the heart colored side up on the mirror in the center. Light the candles and say a small prayer to those around you that are needing to better understand you and your needs to be set free from their anger.

Light the North candle first, then the east, south, and west. Call upon Spirit (whom ever you worship in life). Allow the candles to continue to burn until they go out. Know that once the candles are done burning the spell has been completed.

Many Blessings,
Leslie

Leslie is a member of a group that posted this spell on it. I thought that the “hands on” working definitely would help heal a heart.I asked her permission to post this and she gave me her blessing. Leslie lives in Denver, Colorado with her family and two cats. She is very active with many outdoor sports and says that by doing so, it keeps her connected and ‘Nothing is better to me then being outdoors and being able to connect with Spirit through deep forms of meditation.’ Thank you , Leslie and ski for me! (For me, snow is nice to look at but too cold for me!)